April 29, 2011

I was talking to my very religious friend the other night. His father’s terminal. We talked about Hank Moody, David Duchovny and the X-Files mostly to avoid talking about the fear of his mortality that’s dogged him ever since they heard about his father.

So as we were talking, we ended up on novelizations of X-Files episodes. I haven’t watched this particular episode (Unruhe: Season 4) but I have read the novelization. Bad idea. The premise of the episode concerns a German psychopath who lobotomizes people through the eyes to save them from “howlers.” The “saved” end up repeating the German word “unruhe” or unrest when they are discovered. He asked me “would it be so bad if we were lobotomized?” and I replied in jest “it’d be heaven, no? Of course provided you had someone to take care of you.” That made him cry. I really shouldn’t talk to people after 2 am. My tendency to make jokes about everything gets worse after 2 am. Sorry, dude.

I hadn’t thought of the Abrahamic idea of heaven as a lobotomy before. It’s certainly intriguing. It’d be the only way to permanently still a mind and dedicate it to the singular task of praise. Seems like something an ever-loving god would do. Heh God as Jerry Schnauz.


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